Soon Enough.

Dearest Matthew,

I often think of you, feeling like around you the world would be a daydream. Perfect. I begin to become anxious and impatient over accomplishing this new life while currently lacking your perfection. I imagined our meet and our wonderful friendship years ago when I first made the choice to commit myself to you. Now the imagined time has passed and I'm sitting here waiting for you. Like you came and you went.

You're really worth the wait, no matter what.

Sincerely,
Stephanie

Dearest Matthew,

I've not the ability to explain to you how utterly sorry I am for never finding the time to pour out the truth about your perfection in enough words. You see, I adore you beyond your own knowledge, and in no way would I lie about such a thing. Your perfection keeps me intrigued, but I must say I'm in a feeble state.

Just believe me when I say I love you.

Yours Truly,
Stephanie Ann

I Crave.

Dearest Matthew,

You're every reason why I would take any time to fight. You're every reason why I stand right back up again and keep going, even after I've been pushed down. Whatever strength I have is extremely fragile, leaving me with a weak hold on my tears. I wish I could be better for you, but I'll still try hard. I'd slave myself beyond my ability just for you. I look forward to spending the entire rest of my life with you by my side. But I should be more honest.

I'm craving you deeply, more than ever. I know once I get that tiniest touch, I'll grab on tightly. My body is becoming thirsty and hungry for what it is starved from. I don't understand closeness, yet I crave it. I often wish I could explain this to someone, but I cannot. I don't even understand how to explain to myself. I contain myself when it comes to your beautiful face, but I want to be held by you just because I love you.

I'm hurting, my dearest Matthew. I'm weak and tired. I know I was not meant to go through this life alone. I know you're supposed to be with me. I know we're supposed to endure life together. We're a team, a perfect one at that. We're a harmony, a duet, a song. We're four hands for one piano and my part doesn't make sense without yours. You're my secondo, and I'm your primo. We're two parts to a whole and I'm failing without you.

I'm too afraid that I cannot keep doing this alone. I'm dying to be with you. Why must I have to wait so long? I keep asking for more patience from our dear Lord, but truly I am having a hard time continuing without you. I can't help but miss your face, no matter what my feelings are. I still get happy over you. I still want to be with you, even if I'm upset. I still want to hug you with the most sincere hold. I want to hear your beating heart exactly in sync with mine.

Don't you see? We were meant to be.

Yours Truly,
Stephanie Ann

Whatever Have You Done to Me?

Dearest Matthew,

Whatever have you done to me? I've fallen sky high head over heels in love with your very existence. I'd give up all that I have just for you. You see, you're too beautiful to just let go of. You've flooded my imagination for quite some time now, but I'd rather stare into your perfect eyes. I know this may be short, and I've not written you in quite some time. But honestly, I do care for you beyond measure. And I will always love you.

Please see that.

Yours Truly,
Stephanie Ann

Long Time No Write.

Dearest Matthew,

It has indeed been an excessively long time since I've last written you. You and all your perfection--how could I forget? I've read about you again. How I wished you existed today.

I've actually come to the conclusion that in some way, you do exist! In fact, the only reason why I said you didn't exist was because I described you in such a way that you just simply couldn't. But in one way or the other, you do roam this confusing earth.

Interesting enough, you'll only be perfect to me. Therefore, wherever you go, you'll only receive such compliments from I. No one would understand us though, right? Even WE wouldn't understand each other! I wouldn't want your real name to be Matthew, it would kill the surprise! Along with all the details I've given you. The only thing not to ruin the surprise are the tiny things I might have written that I never bothered to connect them to real life.

Plus, if you existed, I wouldn't meet you until 2011, and my sister wouldn't be engaged then either. My life would be completely different, starting with the fact that I'd be in Santa Barbara right now. Silly, right? I know nothing of the future!

I wrote you something near New Year's of 2007... Because I like the number 7, perhaps. But I felt it would be OUR year! When you know I'm me, and I know you're you, we MUST share what happened in 2007 with each other.

Your existence will make its appearance on perfect timing, if it hasn't already. I'm sure of that! Stay perfect in all that you do. That's how I'll find you!

Love Always,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
Perfect Stephanie.
(Haha.)

Matthew Luke Dryden Jr.

Matthew Luke Dryden Jr.

Matthew was a perfect height, right at six feet. His hair was a rich brown, and his eyes were a unique blue-green color. He worked out ever so often to maintain good shape, and always kept a nice haircut. He was clean when not working hard, and the aroma of his cologne (or deodorant body spray) was never too strong. His attire consisted of dress shirts, casual button-up shirts, and some T-Shirts for his relaxing days. His pattern was usually stripes, or plain, with occasional plaids. He usually wore jeans, and only slacks for formal events or meetings with his job.

Matthew always kept good grades all throughout school and was quite successful. He was intelligent mostly in math and art, but also in subjects such as English and Science. He was socially gifted, making a lot of friends and many acquaintances. He usually kept a smile on his face, despite if he were happy or frustrated. He never let others see his real emotion inside.

In order to not be so distracted, Matthew never entered into deep relationships with people. His friends would usually tease him about not having a girlfriend, but he avoided the topics as much as possible, or answered with a simple, “I don’t need one right now.” He never allowed it to get to his head, even when he felt lonely.

Matthew wasn’t too close to God in high school. At age 17 he fell away from Him. He grew up in a family that believed and attended church every Sunday, but he felt so distant, that God wasn’t listening to him. He eventually felt that his prayers were not being answered, and calling on God became pointless. When he turned 18, God began tugging at his heart and calling Matthew to Him. After a year, there came the day when Matthew finally fell on his knees and gave his whole life to God again. It was then that God began working in his life.

As he entered his second year in college, he saw more blessings. He became more socially bright with people, passing smiles and paying attention to his work at the same time. Matthew studied to be an architect, sketching blueprints and designing homes. He found himself liking putting things together, and working with shapes.

As for the small things, Matthew liked nature, especially the mountains. He liked being able to get away from buildings and city life, and enjoy God’s creation, where it was more peaceful. On his spare time, he practiced guitar and piano. He had quite the talent in music, including singing. He didn’t read sheet music, but rather memorized the songs.

Somewhere deep down inside, Matthew did long to be with someone. Although he had never experienced it in real life, he wondered. An ache in his heart wondering who exactly God would make that would compliment his qualities and personality. Although the passion burned deep within him, he never did try fulfilling it with someone, and when anything got close in a friendship, he began pushing away. As he grew older throughout college, he remained to himself, praying that whoever did come would be from God. He had to be completed by God alone first.

He wanted more than just an attraction from someone, but rather a relationship and bondage. Two minds to think alike; a helper, a best friend. Someone that remained patient with him; someone that would never give up when he became distant or moody. Someone he could laugh with at anything, and spend hours with while never getting tired of each other. And although this want was so hidden in his heart, it was there. Whether he would recognize the feelings or not, he knew that God would know exactly who he needed. Someone different to work perfectly with him.

It wasn’t until the day he met Stephanie when his world became completely changed—especially his heart.

It's Crazy Here.

Dearest Matthew,

Oh how lucky you must be to do everything so perfectly. Currently I have a headache that won't leave me alone. I shan't attack it with any medicine though, I have sympathy towards it.

You don't gain headaches because everything you do is just right. Nothing could cause such stress on your mind.

I'm writing today to tell you I am suffering in my imperfectionness. But I truly know you'd be my other half if you existed. If we became one, I'm sure you would be able to block this headache from visiting my head. You're one lucky man.

You're even more lucky because I created you. I do so believe you've made my imagination perfect as well! If only the world could be like us, maybe it would be then that no one would have to suffer.

What is sin to you? I surely believe it is a waste of time in your life. An action you'd never be willing to take because it is filthy and imperfect. But dearest Matthew, what about our loved ones who are suffering? What about our loved ones who want to do right, and innocently commit sin? However do we speak to them? It's not that I'm asking for respect, just for understanding.

That shall be saved for yet another letter that I'll write to you. But until then, I shall end this one. I can only dream of your prayers, your words of wisdom, and your amazingness.

Yours Truly,

Stephanie Ann

P.S.

The other half of pepper is salt. Two very different seasonings, but you always see them together. :)