I Crave.

Dearest Matthew,

You're every reason why I would take any time to fight. You're every reason why I stand right back up again and keep going, even after I've been pushed down. Whatever strength I have is extremely fragile, leaving me with a weak hold on my tears. I wish I could be better for you, but I'll still try hard. I'd slave myself beyond my ability just for you. I look forward to spending the entire rest of my life with you by my side. But I should be more honest.

I'm craving you deeply, more than ever. I know once I get that tiniest touch, I'll grab on tightly. My body is becoming thirsty and hungry for what it is starved from. I don't understand closeness, yet I crave it. I often wish I could explain this to someone, but I cannot. I don't even understand how to explain to myself. I contain myself when it comes to your beautiful face, but I want to be held by you just because I love you.

I'm hurting, my dearest Matthew. I'm weak and tired. I know I was not meant to go through this life alone. I know you're supposed to be with me. I know we're supposed to endure life together. We're a team, a perfect one at that. We're a harmony, a duet, a song. We're four hands for one piano and my part doesn't make sense without yours. You're my secondo, and I'm your primo. We're two parts to a whole and I'm failing without you.

I'm too afraid that I cannot keep doing this alone. I'm dying to be with you. Why must I have to wait so long? I keep asking for more patience from our dear Lord, but truly I am having a hard time continuing without you. I can't help but miss your face, no matter what my feelings are. I still get happy over you. I still want to be with you, even if I'm upset. I still want to hug you with the most sincere hold. I want to hear your beating heart exactly in sync with mine.

Don't you see? We were meant to be.

Yours Truly,
Stephanie Ann